Turky Swamp…. The storie I haven’t told….

I have often said, that i would like to write a book…. I have also said that no one would believe that I was telling the truth…… So many crazy things happened, that could have only happened to me… A book will have to wait till I retire and have time to devote to it…
What I’m going to do here is write a condensed version of a strategic part of the story…. It will shed some light on how I ended up who I am today…. There are certain events that changed the course of my life, and who I would become….. Bare with me, this will take a lot of time…….
This story was to span a time frame from being a little kid, till I got married the first time…
Something happened August 3 2019, that i felt I needed to add to the story….. It’s at the end…

I started out as a back seat mistake….. I mean most of us were unplanned, and even when a child is planed, you can’t control the sperm and egg that create you…. That’s where my life started going wrong……. Of course, my parents got married cause of me… That didn’t work out too good……
I lived in a third floor apartment in Whitman….. I don’t remember much about it…. I fell out a third story window when i was sixteen months old…… I landed on the only soft thing around, my head!!!! No I landed in a pile of sand…. I did not a pair to be hurt, but I probably had one hell of a concussion…….. They didn’t know about them back then….
We moved to Plympton and lived in a small house on the south side of Turkey swamp…. When I was around two, we got a dog…. Part Collie, and he would be my best friend… My father would start an auto body shop in the garage next to the house, while he worked in a shoe factory….. Later he would move the shop to an old post and rough cut board building covered with corrugated metal, on Clark ave in Halifax… It held four cars….
In Plympton I had friends….I played with Lionel trains, and Tonka trucks…
My uncle had a farm in Bridgewater, and I fell in  love with the place… Tractors, the hay baler, the barn…… He would sell the farm before I was old enough to drive the tractor, and before I was old enough to know what a hay loft is really used for…….. Now I wish I didn’t know……….          I will add to this story in the future…
Halifax….
When I was eight we moved to Halifax… The north side of Turkey swamp… We moved into My grandfathers house…. They made an apartment for Gram and Grandpa where the bed rooms were up stairs… And made bedrooms for us in the cellar…..
I did not fit in in Halifax… I could not compete, or keep up in school… A bunch of city kids had moved into cottages in town, and they bullied me…. There were places in town where I was afraid to go.. My few friends were misfits… I became reclusive and stayed around home out in the woods a quarter mile from the main road…. I hung around my dads shop where I learned a lot…. Including a vocabulary I learned the hard way, that I couldn’t use in public….. One profound thing that happened, in December of 1963, A girl brought a record to school…. It got played during inside recess…. That record changed my life…. It was Meet the Beatles…… It would set me on fire, I wanted  to play guitar, sing, write songs…. I thought people would like me if I was famous… I was hearing music on the radio, but it didn’t hit me till the Beatles.. I would have to wait for a guitar….
I will add more to this later..
I made it threw to sixth grade…. The year My dad bought me an Orange crate…. The bike caused  a lot of jealousy with other kids around town….. That school year, I had a crush on the new girl, Linda…. She was long hair, brunette, and very pretty…… Later in the year, a group of boys ganged up on me on the playground, and roughed me up pretty good….. I call it the riot on the playground… I guess I was not the only one who had a crush on Linda….. Her younger brother didn’t like me…. I was very scared of bullies, girls, and didn’t handle the incident very well…. I was not good at defending myself, and let myself get pushed around… I had started school late, due to a December birthday, and stayed back in second grade Plympton… I was around a year and a half older than the other kids in my class… I was having feelings they weren’t having yet….
When I was thirteen, my dog died…. He was old and very sick… Dad put him out of his misery, { shot a sick animal back then…} and I had to did a hole and berry the dog in the back yard…. I was devastated, the dog was the only real friend I ever had…….
The old guy who lived next to my grandparents, invited me to see puppy’s, and trapped me in his cellar… He chased me around his cellar with his sword hanging out of his pants…. I was old enough to know what he wanted to do… I was young and agile, I was able to out run him, and I got away…. He scared the shit out of me…. I didn’t tell anyone for ten years…. I would never do that to a child…
Jr High…
I started Jr. high in a new building in 1968… I started school thinking no one liked me, and not wanting to be there…… I was more afraid of girls than ever, and could not handle a crush if one came my way…. I could not talk to a girl I liked… I would avoid her…… I made some new friends, also misfits.. I took a music class, where I discovered Hendrix…..
A guy would give me a cheap electric guitar… A Tysco delray… My dad got me a cheap guitar amp for Christmas, and I started guitar lessons…. I took lessons till summer started, and never went back.. The guitar got a broken neck, and I would not get another one till the next Christmas… The same exact guitar, different color……. I was very clever, I took the pick up off the broken guitar, and make the new one a two pickup guitar…..
The summer of 1969….. My favorite song was listen to the band, by the Monkeys….. My uncle David took me to Milo Maine fro two weeks….. There I learned that Maine is a beautiful place.. Like country boy heaven…. I also learned that my aunt was mean, cruel, vindictive, not very good with little children, or me, and that my uncles in laws were nuts….. It was a good but sometimes stressful vacation… I couldn’t wait to get away from there….. They landed the first man on the moon while I was in Maine…. July 20, 1969…
In August there was Woodstock….. I didn’t know anything about it till after it happened….
Eighth grade I will never forget!!!!!!!
My mom had this awful friend… Her first husband ran for his life, and never looked back.. She had five daughters, and treated them very badly….. This friend was not above having an affair with someones husband……. My mom would baby sit the girls during the summers.. We would play in the woods, go fishing, or swimming…. The girls liked my mom cause she was kind and caring…… The awful friend, married a younger man who was an alcoholic………
Two or three weeks into the school year/September 69, on a Tuesday evening,The husband of the awful friend, showed up at my fathers garage with a car full of kids….. The three oldest of his step kids, my friend Brian, and an other girl…. He got out of the car screaming and hollering at me…. He chased me around!!!! The guys who worked for my dad, and the guys who worked for the cranberry company all liked me, and tried to protect me…. The girls step father was drunk, something I would not have understood at that time….. After the yelling and arguing….. The guy got in the car and left…….. At the time I had no idea what I had done… If you do something wrong you know it even if you won’t admit to it…. I did not know what traumatized, or post traumatic stress syndrome was at the time!!!!! But man I had it bad…. I barely functioned for months.
The next day, I was shaken… My friend Brain was too…. He didn’t know what happened either….. The Art teacher was out sick, so they sent us to a study hall I would not normally go to…. I was sitting there with Brain, when a girl walked by…. She had dark hair, striking looks…… I instantly fell in love with her!!!!!! Madly, head over heals, like a train had just run me over!!!!!!! It was too much, too fast, to hard, too intense, too deep!!!!!! I had never felt anything like that before…… { I would never feel anything like that for a female again. } The shock was more than I could handle!!!!!!! I pointed at the girl, and asked Brain who is that girl????? When he said her name, { Holly Witching…. } The shock got even bigger!!!!!!. my mom and her mom had been friends…. I went to her house to play when  I was little, { Her older sister came to my house and played with trains with me…. } and I lived in Plympton too…. I was so blown away, I did not know what to think, or feel….. It was less than twenty four hours from the guy wanting to beat me up…….. I never really recovered from those two events…. The girl would start me writing poems and songs………. I was so terrified of Holly, I could not get near her, I would run away if she got near me……
A number of weeks later, there was a dance in the gym… I would go to dances, but never talk to girls or ask them to dance…. I would stand near the guitar player, and watch him play, try to figure what he was doing…. On this occasion, Holly would come up beside me, on my left side and elbow me repeatedly… I did not understand why she was doing this…. I froze like a statue…. I could not speak, or move!!!!! Finally she went away, I could move again…. An other thing she did that did not make sense, she followed me around sticking me in the leg or butt with a great big common pin….. I was so scared and angry, I think I told the principle, and got her in trouble…. To this day she has no idea what happened or why…… I would never know if she liked me, and that would haunt me for next fifty years…. In story telling, I say that she never liked me, she never had a crush on me, she never was in love with me, and all these years later, she never thinks of me… I never had a chance with her….. I will never know who she really felt…   The biggest mistake of my life, was not talking to her, not taking a chance…..
Later I would learn what happened….. The step daughters were 16, 14, and June, 12….. The step father heard the name Gary, and went into a rage thinking that I was having sex with June…. That’s why he was going to beat me up….. I never had sex with any of those girls.. They would have if I had asked, but I didn’t….. It turns out there was another boy in the area named Gary…… It turns out the stepfather was jealous… He was screwing the 16, 14, 12 year old, and the other girl that was in the car…. At twelve, he got June pregnant… At thirteen June had his child….. The state took the child away, and put him in jail……
But the damage he had done to me has gone on forever…. I have forever been terrified of females, and wives and girlfriends have never worked out.. He ruined high school for me, and girls would be something I can’t have, can’t get…….
Skip to ninth grade……. I had spent the rest of 8’th grade, and the summer with a broken heart, and a feeling that would not stop…. I was consumed by love and all I could do is think about Holly….. I was so love sick the summer of 1970, all I could do is stare into space….. It was like I was burning up with fever…. Talk about the worst summer even…. No teen should ever fall in love like that..
Two or three weeks into September 1970, I rode to Brian Drews house on my mini bike….. I was having trouble with the chain falling off…. When I left there, I rode out into the street at full speed, hit a car in the side……. I broke my left leg, A compound fracture, and got a double concussion. I woke up in the hospital in Plymouth with no idea of what happened, where I was, what day it was, or how I broke my leg……. When I went home, I was so weak all I could do was watch T.V…. I hated the pain medication, and flushed it down the toilet…… Did not like what the pills did to me…… I told a guy in school about the pills, he freaked out!!!!! Why did you flush them, I would have bought them he said… I didn’t understand why he would want them….. While I had the cast on, one day at school, Holly asked me what happened???? I ran into the boys room to hide…
There was not much on t.v. during the day back then….. While I was too weak to do anything, And stuck at home, I got hooked on Dark shadows…. My sister watched it….. I was fascinated by the Vampire, and the witch, Angelique who had cast a spell on him…. A spell that can’t be broken…… I envisioned,  that Holly Witching was a witch who had cast a spell of love on me, that I could not break….. And I could not escape from her power over me… Holly would be the force that started me writing poems, stories, and songs…… But I crossed her with a witch on t.v., and created a muse that was never real…. the feelings I was having became a fantasy…… A fantasy that got mixed up with the music, and the dream I had of being a rock star…. The fantasy powered the words I wrote on paper for years….. Till my two marriages, and divorce’s took the place of the original muse…. But it was a darker more cynical kind of music….. Fate branded a name and a face, a time and a place, in my sole….. Almost fifty years later, I’m still trying to out run it….I never got the dream of being a rock star, or a country star….. I’m still trying to make it as a writer, but that isn’t going to happen……..
The rest of my stay in high school was spent avoiding Holly… In ninth grade she was dating a senior…. He had a car and money, I could not compete with that…. I joke that she gave him a good reason to hang around….. I would never be that lucky…. By the 11’th grade I was a mess, and flunking in a lot of classes…… I was probably not going to graduate with the class……. { See the reunion, at the end… }  I met the girlfriend of the drummer in a band I was in…….. Anna… We became friends…. Every time I called Anna, I got her older sister Nora….. After a while, I met the sister, and she chased me…. I was a seventeen year old kid and just wanted to get laid….. The most important thing a human can do in life…… Just don’t tell females that, they won’t understand…. The sister, Nora deliberately got pregnant… With her mothers shot gun in my back, I married Nora… once the deal was sealed, Nora lost the fire that got me into that predicament….. The kid was born in September of 1973, while my class was starting it’s senior year… I Quit school to become Nora’s meal ticket…… WE had a second kid, but things didn’t get better… She was a serial cheater, just the guys I found out about, were grounds for divorce ten times over…. I was a prisoner of my own kids…..  Someone had to take car of them…….. Nora had four abortions, Those baby’s probably were not mine, but I would have got stuck supporting them….. I would divorce her when one of her many boyfriends tried to shoot me in my drive way… She bailed him out of jail…… I had a wicked case of post traumatic stress syndrome for years….. It cost me two kids, and a lot of money to get rid of her….
I continued the music, sure I could be a rock star… I was not very good, and more delusional than anything….. When things went wrong, I would fall back on my love for a ghost muse, with the name Holly…….
I ended up playing bass, getting into oldies, and then country…… I kept writing things down on paper……. I would never finish what i started..
Before the divorce was final, I met my second wife at country night at a local restaurant….. She lied to me about her marriage, husband, everything….. She had been cheating on him with some loser……. I did not know she was spending all the money on booze, and not paying the bills… She came into my life about the time he took the money away from her….
I had a house, and she wanted  one…. She would say, I chased him till he caught me…. She got pregnant, and I became her meal ticket….. It wasn’t all bad in the beginning… She couldn’t handle three little kids, bills and responsibility… The drinking got worse, and earlier in the day…. She would be passed out when the kids got home, and the oldest of the three, would have to take care of the two younger ones……. She put my threw hell, and then cheated on me at A.A.     She would tell me, making love ain’t part of marriage, if you touch me, your going to go to jail…. When I complained about the cheating, she told me, it’s my body, I can do anything I want with it……. I said your married, you can’t sleep around…. She said take me to court, they will screw you good…. She threatened me with restraining orders all the time… sometimes she would go get one just to maintain control of me….. Eventually we got a divorce…. She tried to take the house, but the court would not give it to her….. The divorce agreement tied her hands…… Four months after the divorce was final, she had an stroke, and died……. April 18’th 2005….. Her death set me free….. But not with out a catch 22 over the house, and problems with the kids…….
I’d like to note that I never got married a third time, and never let a woman live in my house……. Fact is, girlfriends, few and far between were not any better that the wives….. Woman all lie, cheat, and dump me… I’m a temporary sex toy, and that’s when I’m lucky…
To be continued…….
The reunion, August 3, 2019….
When I received the notice for a 45 year reunion, my first reaction was I’m not going, I don’t want any thing to do with it…… As I thought about it my opinion changed… I was going to skip the reunion to avoid one woman… Every time i bump into her by chance, it causes a problem……. { it turns out, it’s only a problem if her husband or sister find out a bout it… If only her and I know, there is no problem…. I would not break up someones marriage, or have an affair with a married woman….. It’s been done to me….}
I was terrified of the prospect of seeing her…. When my friend from school who lives in Virginia, said he was coming, I decided to go…. This time instead of a ball room setting, it was a barbecue In a pavilion…  I was a nervous wreck till I got there, them I was fine… I tried to talk to every one, even if i didn’t know them in school, or didn’t remember their name….. The first thing that went wrong…. They took a group pictures, there were woman sitting on the grass, I was standing behind the one female I was trying to avoid… I didn’t know till someone said her name……
It was cool, I got to reconnect with friends i had lost track of, and have picked up some of them on face book…….
Later after food, I went around and passed out my cards I use to direct people to my you tube account to every one there… Except her… I dropped a card on the pick nick table and didn’t say a word… I just walked away….
The party was from4:00, To 9:00, and around 7:30 people started to leave…. I was up the north end of the pavilion talking to the d.j., I have more in common with a d.j. than with the people I went to school with…. Those who were still there were down the south end…..
When i left the d.j. and headed back to the other end, she was standing by the bar…. To avoid her i would have to go around the bar, or around the pick nick tables… It would have been so obvious That i was avoiding her, I would have looked like a fool….. I walked up to her and asked if she got my card… She said yes, it’s in my pocket book…. What happened next I could not have dreamed up in a million years…… She layed the hug of a century on me!!!!! I didn’t have time to think, or runaway.. I hugged her back….. It was a prolonged close hug, and the only thing I could say to her was, nothing that happened was your fault, you couldn’t possibly have known what happened to me, and I’m sorry….. When she finally let me go, she said apologie accepted…… I walked away……
I don’t know why she hugged me….. Was it sympathy, was it as a friend, was she trying to tell me that she loved me too, and had all these years….. Was it cause she know how I felt, or because she knew she was the one who started me writing poems, story’s and songs…. I thought she never loved me in return…. I will probably never know the answer…. She doe’s not know the  story behind what happened….. Later she was at the bar, and I told her, there is one song on you tube with a name, your name… And I have been waiting 45 years for you to hear it… I did not talk to her the rest of the night….
She broke the anger, the hurt, the bitterness, I had buried my feelings under…. I wanted the spell of love she had put on me almost 50 years ago gone.. That she left behind… I decided I’m not going to fight it this time….. She is a closed door that got left open…. I will wait and see where this never ending story leads me……

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